My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
