Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
