Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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