Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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