i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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