***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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