her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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