Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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