dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
