For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
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I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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