im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
where are my eyebrows?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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