4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
