mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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