On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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