3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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