I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
