dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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