I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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