I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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