WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
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i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
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stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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