The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Can i not drive my cunt home
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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