everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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