I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Small penises have feelings too.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
