One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
