he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
