Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
