i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
