Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
