Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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