Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
