so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
