I want to walk on stilts...naked
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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