wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i out mim tonsoeep
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