im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
