yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
