Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
