are you still at the devil's house?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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