Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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