We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
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IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Drake has all the answers
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize