so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
