It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
