Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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