I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
