he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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