she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
