Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
