8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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