Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I look better un-naked...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
