Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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