I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
