You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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