Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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