And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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