just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
