do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
