Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
