i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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