the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
