Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
