Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
