I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
