We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
