Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
