Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
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I smell like gasoline and adventure.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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