Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
