White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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