i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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