dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
